The success of any venture or enterprise depends on setting effective boundaries. And it is not preposterous to assume that the sooner one does that, the likelihood of attaining success becomes highly likely. Let me elaborate by stating one important principle that works both in relationships and careers. People buy into you before they buy into your vision. The dynamism that is reflected in your personality becomes your trump card. The clarity of vision compounded by flair and passion for attempting the difficult is a winner’s trademark characteristic. An individual is perceived as someone who can be gregarious and reserved at the same time. In other words,
People who have climbed the ladder and are now at the top of their game didn’t just happen to get there by accident. It’s a race and it’s also people dynamics. Suffice to say that “you can’t do it all”. That’s wishful thinking but you can decide where you want to be in the next five years. A lot of that success comes with sheer grit and hard work. But a major factor that we often overlook is setting boundaries. It doesn’t imply rigid compartmentalization and a demeanor that speaks of stubbornness. That prompts angst and no followers. And a leader with a vision and no followers is a sitting duck for verbal assault and ridicule. And that sets the benchmark which leads to further ridicule and no growth. Because who would want to promote a person who wasn’t the audience’s favorite? Get the picture? Success is a complex labyrinth of determination and a flair for setting effective boundaries. It’s more than knowing when to say “No”. It’s also saying “Yes” at the right moments. Its strategic thinking day in and day out.
A healthy sense of self-esteem can prove indispensable. On the other hand, an individual who is struggling with bouts of depression can have a massively hard time setting boundaries. We live in a culture that promotes “doing it all” and pleasing everyone. Well, you can be sure of one thing. “Pleasing everyone is the surest way to failure.” It’s unreasonable. Then there are individuals who have a “dependent mentality”. You praise them and they are on cloud nine. One word of criticism and they are dealing with anxiety. I have encountered individuals who are so accustomed to “spoon-feeding” that they can’t picture life without it. When these individuals attain professional success, it’s like a tightrope, because they can’t handle it. I have always believed very firmly in the principle that lasting success and maintaining tenacity is no easy task.
An individual might work hard, and do everything under the sun to reach the zenith, but if he hasn’t learned the art of setting boundaries, then all that hard work is not going to pay off. Most individuals have that gnawing fear, “What if I look stupid?” And then, “I can’t let them down, I can’t say, No!” Thereby paying a very heavy price. Is it worth it? It is a question you might want to ask at regular intervals as a sort of internal check.
And all the while maintaining that humility and “no-nonsense” attitude. They know when to shut off their professional world and go on a vacation. In other words, “They have learned to be authentic”.
We don’t talk too much about the importance of “setting boundaries.” Perhaps, it’s time we started talking more about it and making individuals aware of the severe repercussions of working oneself to the bone.
5 things you are starting in this direction.
- Do a self-Check – Are you Pro or Good or not sure or not able to set your boundaries. If not sure or bad, get yourself a coach immediately, understand and set your boundaries
- Whenever you are not sure, if you letting off your boundary, check your feelings and listen to its voice. Feeling discomfort or uneasy is an indication, that you are letting go of your boundaries.
- Allow yourself to maintain your boundaries and be happy about it. – sometimes we fear other’s responses and let go of our boundaries. Some even feel guilt and engage in self-doubt. So start being happy about your set boundaries.
- Start being assertive – Just setting boundaries is not enough, you should choose to be assertive and it’s important to assertively communicate with the other person when they’ve crossed a boundary.
- Start the baby steps and start it now. Small transitions add up to bring about major transformations in life. So start now and take the first step.
In an age when we relentlessly talk about “innovation” and doing things differently, it’s time to think hard about “setting boundaries” as they are interlinked. We are creatures of habit and we hate to break the pattern. “ Following the herd” comes easy, becomes we hate to be the odd man out. It’s high time, we learned the art of boundaries as that’s a crucial denominator for success. Set your own pattern, NOW! Time is flying!!!
Setting Boundaries is something that most people find it challenging. If you are interested to find out more or want support to set up boundaries in your professional or personal life, book a session with Coach Sajid using the below link.
Sajid Ahamed is a “Certified trainer of NLP” and Founder of Inner Peace Life Coaching Pvt Ltd, India. He organizes Grinder approved training in India and the Middle East. He is a firm believer in high performance. He enjoys engaging in powerful conversations that lead to effective learning and results. He conducts NLP Practitioner and New Code NLP training in India and the Middle East. He is one of the few who are authorized by ITA (International Training Academy) to conduct New Code NLP Certifications in India and the Middle East. Being Certified in Energy Leadership Index Assessment by one of the largest ICF-accredited coach training schools in the world, “Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching” (iPEC). He is also certified and authorized to conduct Emotional intelligence Assessments by Six Seconds. Sajid empowers his clients to achieve their greatest potential and evolve into their personal best version through emotional intelligence coaching.