We are designed to crave companionship and support. What’s surprising is the extent people are willing to go to keep things the way they are. Now, we all know that Life doesn’t stay the same and is not supposed to. Certain relationships stand the test of time while others just follow their designed course and then fizzle out. And statistics just show that humans prefer familiarity over the unknown. An individual would rather be in an abusive relationship than choosing freedom and the unknown. The Unknown is scary, the unknown can pose challenges, the unknown can be a frightful place and hence the decision to stay.
Let’s look into detail what that decision entails.
🧠It can rob you of all mental peace– Its like a freight train constantly running through your mind. No rest. No vacations. Just a long arduous tumultuous ride that makes you feel like a nobody. This inner dialogue can potentially damage an individual’s entire life and render them powerless to make a decision independently.
😣Sticking to the Status Quo- Sometimes toxic environments can have a paralyzing impact on the individual’s psyche. They are unable to view themselves in a different setting. Its like an alternate avenue is either hidden from their reasoning or they willfully choose to disregard it.
So, What’s the key to break free of these negative patterns of thought? Let’s take a look.
Step 1️⃣– Acknowledge the situation. Ask yourself, is this the place where I want to be two years from now? If the answer is No, then you need to start taking systematic steps, starting today.
Step 2️⃣– Acknowledge that friends and family can sometimes be toxic. Yes, you heard that right. Sometimes the closest relationships can lead to your downfall. Sometimes, individuals are not willing to acknowledge this fact. Not everything that glitters is gold.
Step 3️⃣– What are you willing to give up on? Sure, it’s familiar. Is that familiarity inching you towards your goals or is it playing havoc with your mental peace? If the familiar is making you miserable, then you need to reassess the situation.
Step 4️⃣– Are you willing to have unfamiliar and conflicting conversations? Toxic environments cause people to be on edge and ready for fights. Are you willing to take a stand and state your point of view knowing that this will lead to a gigantic escalation?
Step 5️⃣– Are you willing to make bold and difficult choices? Inevitably breaking free of toxicity will cause a momentary sense of disorientation and you will lose your bearings for a while because this is unfamiliar territory. Are you willing to face the unknown head on?
Step 6️⃣- Have a Stupendous Plan B. Most of the time individuals aren’t able to Change because they don’t have alternative options. Have a Plan B that will cushion your fall and which will serve as a resting place until you are back on your feet.
Step 7️⃣– Have a supportive network of individuals who will see nothing but the best in YOU and cheer you on. Remember, the quality of your associations has a direct bearing on the productivity of your life.
Step 8️⃣- Stop setting yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
Step 9️⃣– Remember, you are not defined by people’s perceptions. People’s outlook may be frayed and judgmental. Stop basing your sense of worth on people’s approval.
Step 🔟– Take full ownership and accountability for the choices you will take going forward.
If you have encountered toxicity in your relationships and career then let this be a reminder to take stock and change the outcome. Most of the time we discount ourselves and believe that its too far gone. Why berate yourself if you have been a victim?
Stop living life based on false labels.
There’s always help and support available, should you choose to accept it.
If you’re in a toxic relationship, coaching can help you identify and address the behaviors and patterns that are causing harm in your relationship. Here are some ways coaching can help:
- 👿Recognize Toxic Behaviors: A coach can help you identify the toxic behaviors in your relationship, such as verbal or physical abuse, manipulation, or control.
- 🔃Understand Patterns: Coaching can help you understand how these toxic behaviors have become patterns in your relationship and how they are affecting you emotionally, mentally, and physically.
- 🔳Set Boundaries: A coach can help you set healthy boundaries to protect yourself from toxic behavior and establish guidelines for how you want to be treated in your relationship.
- 🗣Improve Communication: Coaching can help you improve your communication skills, so you can express your needs and feelings in a way that is assertive, respectful, and effective.
- Develop Coping Strategies: Coaching can help you develop coping strategies to deal with the stress and emotional turmoil that comes with being in a toxic relationship.
- 🧾Create an Exit Plan: Losing will not always amount to a loss. Sometimes you have to lose those toxic relationships and bad habits to create a space for better things. If you decide to leave the relationship, a coach can help you create an exit plan that prioritizes your safety and well-being.
- 🤝Find Support: A coach can help you find support, whether it’s through therapy, support groups, or trusted friends and family.
As a relationship Coach, I can assure you will embark on a path where you will attract the right associations and opportunities.
Sajid Ahamed is a “Certified Trainer of NLP” and organizes John Grinder approved New Code NLP and NLP Master Practitioner Certifications Courses in India and the Middle East. He has more than 1000 hours of coaching experience and is an ICF accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Apart from the Trainings, he covers a wide niche of coaching including Relationship Coaching, Parenting Coaching, Leadership Coaching.
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