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Ten Tips for Great Relationships

We all want to have perfect relationships, but what does that entail? In the midst of a demanding schedule, how do we make time for the people we love? And most importantly, how do we show them that they are valued and treasured above all else.

Here are my top tips for having healthy vibrant relationships. In No particular Order:

💓Take a trip down memory lane
What were the things that you did for your partner when you first met them? Most likely you went out of your way to make them feel special. It might be a good idea to start doing those same things again. Who knows, you just might be pleasantly surprised. 

💖Know your partner like No One else
Their quirks, their innermost desires, their wildest dreams. That will give you an edge and cement your position as an expert. Your partner will value this highly. I promise

💗Go the Extra Mile
At the end of a long tiring day, instead of asking, “How was your day?” Take it one step further. Suggest an impromptu dinner date, or a drive. Make arrangements for a movie night if you have a sneaking suspicion that your partner would be ecstatic about it. Sometimes small gestures mean the World. 


💝Do Not Assume
Its quite easy to assume the worst if we find our partners hesitant to engage in conversations as they normally used to or they might be overtly critical for minor things. Rather than jumping to conclusions and accusing them, it’s always a safer bet to take a step back and let them be. Most often, such situations resolve themselves without any interference. However, if they don’t, you might consider engaging in a conversation that gives them a chance to share their feelings without fear of judgement. As they say, “Effective Communication is the key to almost all of life’s problems.”

💟Do not ignore Intimacy
Too often the priorities of day to day life take precedence over the matters of the bedroom. This is akin to inviting disaster with open arms and hoping you would remain unscathed. Couples who prioritize their sex life not only live healthier lives but they also end up having a great marriage. Its quite easy to co-exist with one another, but to retain the glow and passion specially if you have been living together for years? That’s another level altogether. 

💌Choose to Truly Listen
What is it that their partner is not expressing? Are they facing a silent battle? Couples who maintain external appearances and choose not to listen to their partners often pay a very heavy price. Some couples separate because one individual in this equation feels left out, devalued and unheard. It’s always a great idea to prioritize “Date nights”. Couples can plan a romantic getaway, a coffee date or anything that makes the both of them happy. Free from external distractions and deadlines, they can focus on each other and their aspirations for the future. I cannot emphasize how critically important this is.

💞Be Kind
Be intentionally kind. Sometimes, people are used to presenting a perfect picture for the world to see. You might never know how close that individual with the perfect life is to a mental breakdown. Be kind to your partner. Always.

💕Conflict Resolution
can be done in a number of ways. Sometimes it implies giving your partner space. At other times it might mean having a period of zero conversation which might give the both of you ample time to think things through. Figure out what works best for you and your partner. Couples who have mastered effective conflict resolution have in essence crossed a gigantic roadblock. 

 ❣ Invest and Invest
You simply can’t expect your relationship to yield great returns if you haven’t invested in it. All relationships need to be nurtured and cared for. This is a very intentional endeavor and there are absolutely no shortcuts here. 

💘Have a Vision for the Future
All Successful marriages and relationships have this trait in common. There is an alignment not only in terms of shared interests but rather a common vision for the future. This is the driving force and makes sharing your life with someone meaningful and an adventure. 

A Great Relationship is not formed overnight.
A true relationship is when two imperfect people refuse to give up on each other and constantly strive to make their relationship the best it can be.

Now you are armed with a Comprehensive Guide for how to have Great Relationships!

Sajid Ahamed is a “Certified Trainer of NLP” and organizes John Grinder approved New Code NLP and NLP Master Practitioner Certifications  Courses in India and the Middle East. He has more than 1000 hours of coaching experience and is an ICF accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Apart from the Trainings, he covers a  wide niche of coaching including Relationship Coaching, Parenting Coaching, Leadership Coaching.

To be updated with latest trends in Coaching and psychotherapy, join our Facebook Private group – https://www.facebook.com/groups/findinnerpeace

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Major Roadblocks to Speed Reading

It never ceases to amaze me as to why people don’t read as often as they should. Perhaps one of the major reasons is the absolute lack of time. Juggling work and family account for almost ninety percent of available time, with precious little time left for reading.

Second, and I hear this often, most people consider reading as work and at the end of a long tiring day, concentrating on any subject regardless of how interesting it is, seems like the last thing someone would want to do. Statements like, “I just don’t see the Point” or “There are no interesting topics” are fairly common.

That being said, let’s dive into some of the major roadblocks that we would do well to avoid if we intend to master speed reading.

🔊Eliminate Sub-vocalization– People who practice sub-vocalization can feel their larynx muscles moving inadvertently. This reduces the reading speed significantly. Although reading out loud increases comprehension, it drastically reduces the number of books you could have read otherwise.

🔗Reduce Distractions– Your environment plays a Huge role in determining your overall productivity, concentration and sometimes is directly proportional to effective decision making. An environment that is noisy and full of clutter is, suffice to say, not a great reading space.

📑Multitasking– Juggling multiple tasks while at the same time intending to read a book is a futile exercise. Sometimes, this pattern of reading leads to misguided comprehension and is equivalent to not having read at all.

📚Focusing on the Number– There are individuals who might have set a target of reading fifty books a year. Sometimes this exercise is undertaken to check a box on the list of things to be accomplished within a given time frame. This leads to a mad dash to complete the activity without retaining the information. A hasty read that has in essence, served no purpose.

😵Regression Do you go over the words you have just read? Sometimes, readers do this in order to understand the meaning of the text or they might need to consult the dictionary. In order to be a successful speed reader, you must intentionally work on improving your comprehension.

Eliminate Fixations per Line– Contrary to popular belief, you do not read in a Straight line, but in a sequence of saccadic movements. Each of these movements ends with a fixation. As you gradually become a master speed reader, you will notice a gradual decrease in the number of fixations.

😃Your Intent– If you are a passionate reader, chances are that you devour all literary material with gusto. Its your desire that fuels you to grasp all the information as fast as you possibly can. On the other hand, if you read because you intend to kill time on a lazy Sunday afternoon or perhaps the novel was highly recommended and you are temporarily excited to skim through it, intent plays a huge role in speed.

🧠Working Memory Deficit An Individual might have to reread a paragraph multiple times inorder to understand and retain the information, all of which thwarts the desire to proceed in this venture. Over time the desire to engage in reading is lowered.

🔠Linguistic Incompetence– Failure to decipher expressions and words in context is highly demotivating. The reader may stop reading altogether if he/she fails to understand the text grammatically.

Speed reading is a skill that is learnt, not an ability you are born with, and like every craft it requires time and discipline. No Quick Fixes here.

If you seek to rise above the Ordinary then Speed reading must occupy pride of place in your target list of Skills to be Conquered. The future belongs to those who have mastered the ability to grasp huge amounts of information fast.

Master this and you have the World at your Fingertips. Literally!

 

Sajid Ahamed is a “Certified Trainer of NLP” and organizes John Grinder approved New Code NLP and NLP Master Practitioner Certifications  Courses in India and the Middle East. He has more than 1000 hours of coaching experience and is an ICF accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Apart from the Trainings, he covers a  wide niche of coaching including Relationship Coaching, Parenting Coaching, Leadership Coaching.

To be updated with latest trends in Coaching and psychotherapy, join our Facebook Private group – https://www.facebook.com/groups/findinnerpeace

For Further networking, follow us on

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Benefits of Reading Books – How it can alter your life

Those who Lead are Great Readers

“Somebody who only reads newspapers and at best books of contemporary authors looks to me like an extremely near-sighted person who scorns eyeglasses. He is completely dependent on the prejudices and fashions of his times, since he never gets to see or hear anything else.”
– Albert Einstein (German-born theoretical physicist, universally acknowledged to be one of the two greatest physicists of all time)

There are so many benefits to reading books. For most, the only reading they ever do is just the occasional social media post or a hurried glance at a newspaper headline. Let’s face it, in these times, reading is considered a chore that, thank you, most people would readily do without.

📚Readers are Leaders, as you’ve probably heard before. If you’ve taken the time to look up the routines of well-known leaders, you’ll notice that they all share the same reading habit. Leaders fit it into their hectic schedules. WHY?

🧠Its “Brain Exercise”- Researchers have confirmed that reading involves a complex network of circuits and signals in the brain. As you read more, those pathways become more refined. And what’s more, cognitive abilities are sharpened as a result.

⚡Enhanced Focus– The ability to grasp difficult concepts, retain information and concentrate on projects for longer amounts of time can all be attributed to reading. In this age of multitasking, enhanced focus and clarity are a key denominator for success.

📝Memory– Reading every day goes a long way in improving memory. Just thirty minutes every day goes a long way in strengthening your cognitive muscles. For example, an avid reader may quickly recall events and information compared to someone who rarely reads. Recalling information fast is a highly underrated skill.

🤔Enhanced Ability to Understand Different Scenarios– Someone who has read books on various subjects is an asset in every setting. This information gives them the ability to make decisions fast, get to the Crux of the matter, find a solution to a potential problem fast. For example, they might have a greater ability to empathize and may restrict themselves from jumping to conclusions. That greater perspective doesn’t magically spring up overnight and definitely is not the result of skimming over content.

😏Top Notch Communication Skills– What’s the pre-requisite to almost every job description? You guessed it. Effective Communication. Employers are much more likely to hire candidates with exceptional communication skills. In a diverse environment where an employee is required to communicate effectively with stakeholders, partners, and colleagues, having average communication skills is a disaster waiting to happen.

Reading a wide variety of books gives an individual an immersive experience. Wherein, one studies the cadence, the tone, the language of the writer. If you do this often enough, your communication skills will be your most prized possession. I guarantee.

📖The Ultimate Relaxation– Nothing beats curling up on the Couch with your favorite book and a pot of coffee. Just thirty minutes of reading can lower stress and enhance your mood. If this sounds too good to be true, I encourage you to try this.

😴That much Needed Zzz- Doctors recommend incorporating reading as a regular part of your nightly routine. Eventually the body is acclimatized and falling asleep becomes effortless. And all that much needed zz will have a discernible impact in your waking life. From enhanced productivity to quality decisions. We give way too little emphasis on a good night’s sleep, not realizing the tremendous positive benefits it inherently has.

✔Better Decisions– Reading and better decision making go hand in hand. Someone who is equipped with more information, varying perspectives and world affairs is in a much better position to make an informed choice. Those choices sometimes open up new avenues and new opportunities for growth. Who ever thought a pastime or a hobby had so much hidden potential?

😢Helps Alleviate Depression– This seems unbelievable but its true. Taking solace in an imaginary world is sometimes all the therapy one might need.

🔗The Compounding Effect– The advantages of reading are diverse and frankly, too good to be true. If you invest ten thousand hours in any activity, you are bound to be ahead of the pack. In other words, you get a head start. I think Malcom Gladwell was onto something here. If you would like to know more, I highly recommend “The Tipping Point”.

Bypass the Binge Watching on Netflix, the hurried skimming over headlines, the Mindless scrolling on Social media.

How about picking a book and getting lost in its pages?

He that loves reading has everything within his reach. We are living in the most exciting time in history. If you possess a treasure trove of Knowledge, you will be presented with outstanding opportunities. Mind Boggling, isn’t it?

But Remember, Knowledge is Potential Power!!!!

 

Sajid Ahamed is a “Certified Trainer of NLP” and organizes John Grinder approved New Code NLP and NLP Master Practitioner Certifications  Courses in India and the Middle East. He has more than 1000 hours of coaching experience and is an ICF accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Apart from the Trainings, he covers a  wide niche of coaching including Relationship Coaching, Parenting Coaching, Leadership Coaching.

To be updated with latest trends in Coaching and psychotherapy, join our Facebook Private group – https://www.facebook.com/groups/findinnerpeace

For Further networking, follow us on

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How to deal with a childs abusive behaviour

Dealing with a Child who is behaving Differently

When a child becomes abusive and exhibits violent behavior, it’s a huge red flag and should never go unnoticed or unchecked. Sudden outbursts of uncontrolled rage isn’t just a phase as some presume and is usually the first external manifestation of deep-seated resentment and anger. Without necessary preventive mechanisms, this problem behavior can quickly spiral out of control.

Let’s take a look at some of the Strategies you can use in mitigating this problem behavior:

📌Exerting Power- Sometimes children resort to name calling and verbal abuse to check how far they can push their parents before they flip. Or they might exhibit violent behavior as a method of releasing frustration and anger. Whatever might be the cause, parents and caregivers must deal with such instances with tact rather than punishing the child as this might trigger the child to become increasingly difficult and stubborn.

📌Conflict at Home- Children reared in dysfunctional homes where parents are either absent or are mired in marital conflict is a hotbed for disaster. Children feel powerless in such a scenario and find no other alternative than to lash out at authority. Rather than blaming the child and subjecting them to disciplinary measures, its always a much better option to reason with them and let them know that they are not to blame. Sometimes children hold themselves responsible for family conflict and become violent and angry as a result of it.

📌Heart of the Matter In a high conflict situation, its usually the children who face the onslaught. Since each child’s coping mechanisms are different, they might exhibit their frustration in various ways. As a society, we are accustomed to finding an instant solution and sometimes children are termed as “difficult” or someone with “learning disabilities” or “problems with controlling rage” and so forth. Its so important to do a deep dive and understand the set of circumstances that contributed to a child displaying a particular “problem behavior” and then devise specific strategies to deal with that, rather than prescribing a treatment that has nothing to with the cause.

📌Letting the Abuse SlideSometimes parents might ignore abusive statements or name calling. Unfortunately, this behavior escalates since this wasn’t curtailed at the outset. Children feel they have the upper hand and use it to their advantage. Refusing to address this behavior, assuming mistakenly that this is a form of love and giving in to a child’s demands every single time are huge mistakes. Parents and care givers must exercise firmness and discipline to give the child a “feel” of who is the authority figure. Children must realize that violent behavior will not be “indulged” under any circumstances. 

📌Excessive / Unbalanced Love Can there be something called as Excessive love? Yes, you heard that right. Giving in to a child’s demands every time, fulfilling all their wishes and refusing to acknowledge the required change in their child’s Behavior is not the best parenting. This also leads to violent behavior and irreverence towards authority figures. Abusive behavior doesn’t happen overnight. Exercising restraint and discipline never goes out of style and must an indispensable element in parenting.

📌Maintaining Appearances In a bid to maintain peace at home, parents and caregivers try to placate an angry child before the rage begins. They cajole and request the child to calm down which only serves to exacerbate an already fuming child. Rage and anger can only be counteracted with a calm disposition and a No- Nonsense attitude. There’s no other way.

📌Punishment Gone Awry- Children who are subjected to excessive punishment at a young age may exhibit violent behavior as a method of getting back control and respect. Excessive punishment, withholding affection and treating a child with disrespect can have an irreversible impact on a child’s psyche. Sometimes, the effects are so damaging that a child may resort to inflicting self harm. This requires a detailed in-depth analysis and prompt medical intervention. 

📌Setting Boundaries –  Its very crucial to establish the boundaries and teach children to respect these boundaries at the outset. Having said that, there are multiple causes that might lead to a child being difficult and abusive. 

There’s no strict criteria that fits all and it demands an in-depth analysis of each specific situation to understand the reasoning that drives such behavior. In the end, what matters is that children learn how to solve their problems appropriately without resorting to violence and aggression. They must know that there are far better mechanisms at their disposal. Mechanisms that if mastered, can help them in fulfilling their true potential and lead fulfilling lives.

 

Sajid Ahamed is a “Certified Trainer of NLP” and organizes John Grinder approved New Code NLP and NLP Master Practitioner Certifications  Courses in India and the Middle East. He has more than 1000 hours of coaching experience and is an ICF accredited Professional Certified Coach (PCC). Apart from the Trainings, he covers a  wide niche of coaching including Relationship Coaching, Parenting Coaching, Leadership Coaching.

To be updated with latest trends in Coaching and psychotherapy, join our Facebook Private group – https://www.facebook.com/groups/findinnerpeace

For Further networking, follow us on

https://www.facebook.com/innerpeacelife/

https://www.instagram.com/innerpeacelifecoaching

https://youtube.com/c/InnerPeaceLifeCoaching