NLP for Healthy Marital Relations
Program the unconscious mind for healthy relationship
NLP shows us how our thoughts, emotions and actions are connected. It helps us in improving our life by enabling us to manage emotions and be in control of our actions and behavior. Relationships are founded on emotions of trust, love and empathy. The core of marital relationship, in particular is an emotional commitment. Unless we master the art and science of managing emotions, we cannot do well in enjoying the beauty of this relationship to its fullest potential.
Normally couples fight for small and at times silly things. Healthy relationship needs such small bickering, but if they are not judiciously and timely managed, such small and innocent bickering lead to permanent cracks. The main reason of such emotional sores is often how we look at our partner. NLP cannot and doesn’t change your partner, but it can definitely help you in making your partner more attractive and lovable in your eyes. The strength of marital relationship is often reciprocal. So if your partner becomes more endearing in your eyes, your charm will also increase.
The main power of NLP lies in its ability to reprogram the unconscious mind. Whatever we do and experience consciously, is permanently stored in our unconscious mind and this stored data programs our unconscious mind for specific behavior. This programming of mind started before our birth and continues throughout our life. This unconscious mind is the source of all our emotions, behavior and habits. The way our unconscious mind is programmed, plays a major role in our relationship. We do not consciously remember many of the incidents and relationship sore, but they do affect our emotions and in turn our behavior. Fortunately, the unconscious mind can be reprogrammed using the powerful NLP tools, and all such sores can be healed permanently.
For a healthy and beautiful relationship, we need to program our unconscious mind. First step is to enable our unconscious mind to see and feel the beautiful side of this relationship. Every human personality has its good and bad parts. The relationship becomes blissful when our mind focuses on the beautiful aspects of the persona of our partner. A simple thing we can start with is to just list out all the good things in our partner that we like or have ever liked. It can be related to physical beauty, or the good aspects of behavior, skills, talents or his/her favors, or anything else. List them out and let your mind visualize, think and take pleasure in all those beautiful aspects. If you work it out daily for a few moments, you will find your emotions changing, love becoming more intense and bond getting stronger.
Unconscious mind can be reprogrammed using metaphors; some incidents of our life work as strong living metaphors. A great sacrifice that our partner had rendered, memories of memorable events and days, the stories of the days when the love was at its peak; all these work as strong metaphors to ignite the positive feelings. Every healthy relationship does always possess a huge treasure of such powerful memories that if properly triggered can do magic in instantly repairing any damage or revitalizing the passion in case it weakens for any reason. NLP has the technique of creating positive anchors for resourceful states. We can visualize the best moments of our lives spent together and can create positive anchors.
Relationships get weakened with the passing days mainly because we come across the shortcomings of our partner. Every human personality has its own negative aspects. If our unconscious mind starts focusing on those negative aspects, once beautiful partner starts looking ugly. One way of overcoming this is to focus on positive and beautiful aspects of partner’s personality. The other powerful tool that NLP provides is called re-framing. Re-frame the shortcomings of your partner and try to look at the positive intent of it. One way of looking at your husband’s busy schedules is to consider him a workaholic who is not interested in sparing time with family, but the other way is to look at him as a responsible man who is working so hard for the well being of family and is committed to his work. It is all about the way you approach the reality. If you approach it negatively it will cause damage to your relationship, and if same reality is approached in a positively re-framed manner, it will strengthen your bond.
So, at the dawn of the New Year, fasten your seat belts and take off for a new journey; reprogram your unconscious mind and begin to enjoy a more matured and blissful relationship. Wish you all the best….
by Dr. Nazneen Sadat (MSc. PhD) –
She is a certified NLP Practitioner (American Union of NLP). Her core specialisation include, resolving family dispute, marital counselling, teen age counselling, parenting etc.