Emotional intelligence is the number one skill that almost every successful individual possesses. But, is it hard to master? Is it a byproduct of good genes or just a good upbringing? The simplest definition of EQ is “the ability to sustain the pace.” Talent and good luck can place an individual at a strategic career-defining moment, but its only emotional intelligence that can keep him there. It’s quite simply the art of reading a situation or environment and effectively understanding one’s role in that dynamic.
And believe it or not, “it’s easier said than done”. Emotional intelligence is a trait that’s earned over a period of time. It involves soul-crushing and sometimes debilitating emotional upheavals. It involves going through the entire “rigmarole” of events only to realize that it was an utter waste of time. Not everyone possesses it, and those who do can vouch for the fact that their lives are cumulatively better.
A large chunk depends on an individual’s formative years. But, there are always exceptions to the rule. To assume that emotional intelligence is only seen in individuals belonging to affluent families or perfect homes is a fallacy. Sometimes, emotional intelligence is a byproduct of great adversity. History is replete with examples of individuals who exhibited great resilience despite the circumstances. The large majority of individuals operate in terms of “trial and error.” There is no “intelligent” decision making. And, at other times, people prefer to stay in their comfort zones and hope that everything will fall into place. Well, it doesn’t!
“Know thyself” was a thought promoted by a great philosopher. Know what are your key drivers, your motivation to stay “put”, your unique identity? That’s the seat of your true power. An attempt to understand another individual or a situation can never truly be successful without attempting to understand oneself. Most individuals do it the other way round and fail time after time. How you perceive yourself has a great impact on how others treat you. And it also might be added that “a renewed understanding “ of self is the foundation for great interpersonal relationships and careers. It can’t happen any other way.
Emotional intelligence enables an individual to say “no” without feeling like a failure. I have witnessed a number of individuals who are extremely hard on themselves, and on a relentless drive to appear “competent” for the next position. Simply put, EQ is strategic and focused. It’s working smarter. Let me give an example. Extremely successful Hollywood stars have their names engraved on Hollywood Boulevard. Does that make them better than the rest? Of course, their net worth has skyrocketed. Did they happen to get there by accident? The answer is a resounding “No”. To come back to the earlier question, “Are they better than the rest?’ Not necessarily. They exhibited a high degree of emotional intelligence and success literally chased them.
High achievers are expert navigators in terms of emotions. They have a firm check on them. It doesn’t imply that they don’t feel. It’s just that they know when to break down and bounce back. Emotions make us “human”. We were not designed to work on “autopilot”. The real danger is when an individual drowns himself in a flurry of activity to mask real emotions. Too many people are just dealing with life. They are not facing it “head-on .” Handling stress effectively is a key determiner of an emotionally intelligent individual. The more proficient he /she is in dealing with sudden unexpected situations, the more successful he is. This is also a major reason for relationship disasters because two individuals couldn’t handle a stressful situation intelligently. It doesn’t take long to blow up years of hard work in smoke over a minor incident. Many individuals have fallen victim to heated arguments and ineffective conflict resolution.
Take an emotional intelligence test. Test the waters. Your education can only take you so far. It’s your ability to navigate complex situations and individuals that will determine how successful you become. Score an A-plus on life. Not just on a test. Life is a complex potpourri of events. What worked in the past is most definitely not going to work in the future. Innovate, think, adapt. In other words, do whatever it takes to build that emotional tenacity and bandwidth. You won’t regret it!! And yes, before I go, remember,” It’s a daily battle that will demand new levels of reasoning. Are you up to the challenge?
Sajid Ahamed is “Certified trainer of NLP” and Founder of Inner Peace Life Coaching Pvt Ltd, India. He is a firm believer in high performance. He enjoys engaging in powerful conversations that lead to effective learning and results. He is ITA (International Training Academy) approved NLP and New Code Trainer in India and the Middle East. Certified in Energy Leadership Index Master Practitioner by one of the largest ICF-accredited coach training schools in the world, “Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching” (iPEC), Coach Sajid empowers his clients to achieve their greatest potential and evolve into their personal best version.
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