Relationship Secret – To be Connected while having healthy Boundaries

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The success of any venture or enterprise depends on setting effective boundaries. And it is not preposterous to assume that the sooner one does that, the likelihood of attaining success becomes highly likely. Let me elaborate by stating one important principle that works both in relationships and careers. People buy into you before they buy into your vision. The dynamism that is reflected in your personality becomes your trump card. The clarity of vision compounded by flair and passion for attempting the difficult is a winner’s trademark characteristic. An individual is perceived as someone who can be gregarious and reserved at the same time. In other words,

“You lay the foundation right at the start as to how you ought to be treated”. To be concise, “You set boundaries.”

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People who have climbed the ladder and are now at the top of their game didn’t just happen to get there by accident. It’s a race and it’s also people dynamics. Suffice to say that “you can’t do it all”. That’s wishful thinking but you can decide where you want to be in the next five years. A lot of that success comes with sheer grit and hard work. But a major factor that we often overlook is setting boundaries. It doesn’t imply rigid compartmentalization and a demeanor that speaks of stubbornness. That prompts angst and no followers. And a leader with a vision and no followers is a sitting duck for verbal assault and ridicule. And that sets the benchmark which leads to further ridicule and no growth. Because who would want to promote a person who wasn’t the audience’s favorite? Get the picture? Success is a complex labyrinth of determination and a flair for setting effective boundaries. It’s more than knowing when to say “No”. It’s also saying “Yes” at the right moments. Its strategic thinking day in and day out.

A healthy sense of self-esteem can prove indispensable. On the other hand, an individual who is struggling with bouts of depression can have a massively hard time setting boundaries. We live in a culture that promotes “doing it all” and pleasing everyone. Well, you can be sure of one thing. “Pleasing everyone is the surest way to failure.” It’s unreasonable. Then there are individuals who have a “dependent mentality”. You praise them and they are on cloud nine. One word of criticism and they are dealing with anxiety. I have encountered individuals who are so accustomed to “spoon-feeding” that they can’t picture life without it. When these individuals attain professional success, it’s like a tightrope, because they can’t handle it. I have always believed very firmly in the principle that lasting success and maintaining tenacity is no easy task.

An individual might work hard, and do everything under the sun to reach the zenith, but if he hasn’t learned the art of setting boundaries, then all that hard work is not going to pay off. Most individuals have that gnawing fear, “What if I look stupid?” And then, “I can’t let them down, I can’t say, No!” Thereby paying a very heavy price.  Is it worth it? It is a question you might want to ask at regular intervals as a sort of internal check.

Truly balanced individuals have learned the art of regularly setting aside “me time.” They have learned the art of saying “No” without appearing rude.

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And all the while maintaining that humility and “no-nonsense” attitude. They know when to shut off their professional world and go on a vacation. In other words, “They have learned to be authentic”.

We don’t talk too much about the importance of “setting boundaries.” Perhaps, it’s time we started talking more about it and making individuals aware of the severe repercussions of working oneself to the bone.

5 things you are starting in this direction.

  1. Do a self-Check – Are you Pro or Good or not sure or not able to set your boundaries. If not sure or bad, get yourself a coach immediately, understand and set your boundaries
  2. Whenever you are not sure, if you letting off your boundary, check your feelings and listen to its voice. Feeling discomfort or uneasy is an indication, that you are letting go of your boundaries.
  3. Allow yourself to maintain your boundaries and be happy about it. – sometimes we fear other’s responses and let go of our boundaries. Some even feel guilt and engage in self-doubt. So start being happy about your set boundaries.
  4. Start being assertive – Just setting boundaries is not enough, you should choose to be assertive and it’s important to assertively communicate with the other person when they’ve crossed a boundary.
  5. Start the baby steps and start it now. Small transitions add up to bring about major transformations in life. So start now and take the first step.

In an age when we relentlessly talk about “innovation” and doing things differently, it’s time to think hard about “setting boundaries” as they are interlinked. We are creatures of habit and we hate to break the pattern. “ Following the herd” comes easy, becomes we hate to be the odd man out. It’s high time, we learned the art of boundaries as that’s a crucial denominator for success. Set your own pattern, NOW! Time is flying!!!

Setting Boundaries is something that most people find it challenging. If you are interested to find out more or want support to set up boundaries in your professional or personal life, book a session with Coach Sajid using the below link.

https://my.timetrade.com/book/LNX16

Sajid Ahamed is a “Certified trainer of NLP” and Founder of Inner Peace Life Coaching Pvt Ltd, India. He organizes Grinder approved training in India and the Middle East. He is a firm believer in high performance. He enjoys engaging in powerful conversations that lead to effective learning and results. He conducts NLP Practitioner and New Code NLP training in India and the Middle East. He is one of the few who are authorized by ITA (International Training Academy) to conduct New Code NLP Certifications in India and the Middle East. Being Certified in Energy Leadership Index Assessment by one of the largest ICF-accredited coach training schools in the world, “Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching” (iPEC). He is also certified and authorized to conduct Emotional intelligence Assessments by Six Seconds. Sajid empowers his clients to achieve their greatest potential and evolve into their personal best version through emotional intelligence coaching.

IPLC Team

Energy Dynamics

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A high degree of engagement coupled with a passion that could be stated as “killer instinct” is a sure determiner of success in any venture. Energy could be either catabolic or anabolic. Most often, individuals operate from a default perspective which implies they usually don’t think much before reacting. But at other times, our responses flow out of a carefully thought out pattern.

This understanding is extremely crucial in the business world. Where stakes are high and individuals need to have a high degree of clarity and in-depth understanding of the situation. Our responses are usually governed by how we perceive the situation and how we perceive ourselves in that scenario. When we look at the “crème de la crème” of any organization, there are a few factors like “alignment with the Company’s goals, a strong sense of commitment, vision and resiliency that stand out. They prove invaluable as an individual move up the ladder. This, in turn, leads to an individual being extremely creative and alert.

Of course, minimizing distractions and getting regular feedback helps. But, an individual must be engaged and receptive to growth.

The corporate world is a boiling pot of variables that keep changing constantly. An individual who is adept at managing stress will thrive in such a setting. Also, an individual who loves that constant stimulus would consider it as…

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But the vast majority of individuals just burn out due to the constant pressure. So is training the mind a prerequisite? Yes. But, it’s also important to gradually develop a taste for the difficult. And eventually, the adrenaline rush is a welcome visitor.

For example, an employee who feels valued at a firm and has a say in decision making will continue to stay and deliver quality results. Employee engagement teams at top companies can vouch for the above. A high degree of engagement leads to a high degree of commitment. It’s also important to address the physical aspect. Adequate rest, sexual interactions and nutrition play a huge role in energy dynamics. Any miss on the above has severe repercussions ranging from personality disorders to work-related stress. Physical stress occurs when the body is being forced to operate at peak efficiency at a stretch. Most of the time, individuals refuse to listen to their bodies and ignore the signals. And in most cases, it even leads to death.

A strong social network where an individual feels appreciated has a great impact. The ability to influence others and see a smile on people’s faces is a great confidence booster. Then, there are environmental factors like the country, culture, and weather all play a major role in enhancing engagement. Most companies invest heavily in employee relations. But, in order to get the complete picture, one must keep all the above factors in mind before forming an opinion.

Core energy coaching connects an individual’s passion for goals in order to achieve lasting success. It applies theories from Neuro-linguistic programming, quantum physics, philosophical studies, etc. It enables the clients to break any preconceived ideas and learn a new way to approach life situations. The coaching methodology creates a plan of action that is systematic and achievable. Super Soul Sunday is a popular series conducted by Oprah Winfrey, the acclaimed talk show host. In one of the sessions, she asked one of the guests this burning question, “How do I know I am on the right path?” The person, another acclaimed writer, answered thus,” When my potential is fully utilized and I feel that I am not betraying myself.” That’s insightful.

An individual feels deeply fulfilled when he/she is utilizing the highest potential. Rewards follow eventually, but the individual never chased after it.

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That’s lasting success and it leads to a high degree of engagement that simply becomes better with time. The individual is driven by a strong value system and work ethic. This is the kind of energy dynamics that is a natural outcome and is sustainable over a period of time. Energy coaching mechanisms are a great tool, but the individual must be highly motivated.

Highly energetic individuals build great economies. China is a great example of a highly skilled workforce. They have no rival in the arena of technology. But let’s establish the objective, “Have a grand vision, love what you do.” You might be the next Steve Jobs   !!!

Inner Peace Life Coaching has precision tools to assess your energy levels and how you react under stress. These assessments coupled with Coaching can assist you to find ways to move to higher energy levels and maintain there for high performance in different areas of your life. Check out this link for further information.

https://innerpeacelife.com/energy-leadership-index-assessment/

Sajid Ahamed is a “Certified trainer of NLP” and Founder of Inner Peace Life Coaching Pvt Ltd, India. He organizes Grinder approved training in India and the Middle East. He is a firm believer in high performance. He enjoys engaging in powerful conversations that lead to effective learning and results. He conducts NLP Practitioner and New Code NLP training in India and the Middle East. He is one of the few who are authorized by ITA (International Training Academy) to conduct New Code NLP Certifications in India and the Middle East. Being Certified in Energy Leadership Index Assessment by one of the largest ICF-accredited coach training schools in the world, “Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching” (iPEC). He is also certified and authorized to conduct Emotional intelligence Assessments by Six Seconds. Sajid empowers his clients to achieve their greatest potential and evolve into their personal best version through emotional intelligence coaching.

If you are interested to find out more about this technique, You can book a free session with him using the below link.

https://my.timetrade.com/book/LNX16

IPLC Team

emotional intelligence

Emotional Intelligence

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Emotional intelligence is the number one skill that almost every successful individual possesses. But, is it hard to master? Is it a byproduct of good genes or just a good upbringing? The simplest definition of EQ is “the ability to sustain the pace.” Talent and good luck can place an individual at a strategic career-defining moment, but its only emotional intelligence that can keep him there. It’s quite simply the art of reading a situation or environment and effectively understanding one’s role in that dynamic.emotional intelligence

And believe it or not, “it’s easier said than done”. Emotional intelligence is a trait that’s earned over a period of time. It involves soul-crushing and sometimes debilitating emotional upheavals. It involves going through the entire “rigmarole” of events only to realize that it was an utter waste of time. Not everyone possesses it, and those who do can vouch for the fact that their lives are cumulatively better.

A large chunk depends on an individual’s formative years. But, there are always exceptions to the rule. To assume that emotional intelligence is only seen in individuals belonging to affluent families or perfect homes is a fallacy. Sometimes, emotional intelligence is a byproduct of great adversity. History is replete with examples of individuals who exhibited great resilience despite the circumstances. The large majority of individuals operate in terms of “trial and error.” There is no “intelligent” decision making. And, at other times, people prefer to stay in their comfort zones and hope that everything will fall into place. Well, it doesn’t!

“Know thyself” was a thought promoted by a great philosopher. Know what are your key drivers, your motivation to stay “put”, your unique identity? That’s the seat of your true power. An attempt to understand another individual or a situation can never truly be successful without attempting to understand oneself. Most individuals do it the other way round and fail time after time. How you perceive yourself has a great impact on how others treat you. And it also might be added that “a renewed understanding “ of self is the foundation for great interpersonal relationships and careers. It can’t happen any other way.

Emotional intelligence enables an individual to say “no” without feeling like a failure. I have witnessed a number of individuals who are extremely hard on themselves, and on a relentless drive to appear “competent” for the next position. Simply put, EQ is strategic and focused. It’s working smarter. Let me give an example. Extremely successful Hollywood stars have their names engraved on Hollywood Boulevard. Does that make them better than the rest? Of course, their net worth has skyrocketed. Did they happen to get there by accident? The answer is a resounding “No”. To come back to the earlier question, “Are they better than the rest?’ Not necessarily. They exhibited a high degree of emotional intelligence and success literally chased them.emotional intelligence

High achievers are expert navigators in terms of emotions. They have a firm check on them. It doesn’t imply that they don’t feel. It’s just that they know when to break down and bounce back. Emotions make us “human”. We were not designed to work on “autopilot”. The real danger is when an individual drowns himself in a flurry of activity to mask real emotions. Too many people are just dealing with life. They are not facing it “head-on .” Handling stress effectively is a key determiner of an emotionally intelligent individual. The more proficient he /she is in dealing with sudden unexpected situations, the more successful he is. This is also a major reason for relationship disasters because two individuals couldn’t handle a stressful situation intelligently. It doesn’t take long to blow up years of hard work in smoke over a minor incident. Many individuals have fallen victim to heated arguments and ineffective conflict resolution.

Take an emotional intelligence test. Test the waters. Your education can only take you so far. It’s your ability to navigate complex situations and individuals that will determine how successful you become. Score an A-plus on life. Not just on a test. Life is a complex potpourri of events. What worked in the past is most definitely not going to work in the future. Innovate, think, adapt. In other words, do whatever it takes to build that emotional tenacity and bandwidth. You won’t regret it!! And yes, before I go, remember,” It’s a daily battle that will demand new levels of reasoning. Are you up to the challenge?

Sajid Ahamed is “Certified trainer of NLP” and Founder of Inner Peace Life Coaching Pvt Ltd, India. He is a firm believer in high performance. He enjoys engaging in powerful conversations that lead to effective learning and results. He is ITA (International Training Academy) approved NLP and New Code Trainer in India and the Middle East. Certified in Energy Leadership Index Master Practitioner by one of the largest ICF-accredited coach training schools in the world, “Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching” (iPEC), Coach Sajid empowers his clients to achieve their greatest potential and evolve into their personal best version.

Watch this testimonial on fast phobia cure

If you are interested to find out more about this technique, You can book a free session with him using the below link.

https://my.timetrade.com/book/LNX16

IPLC Team

The Confidence Matrix

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“To be yourself in a World that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson quoted this centuries earlier, and yet this statement has the same potent appeal it had years earlier.

Confidence is not an option anymore. It’s a necessity and non negotiable. Cultivated meticulously, it has the potential to make an individual unstoppable. Confidence is that rugged fierce characteristic that says,”Either I will find a way or make one.”

Neuro Linguistic Programming has a couple of confidence building techniques that definitely make the journey towards self-esteem easier.

The NLP Whiteout Technique as the name suggests is really equivalent to a whiteout. The purpose is to eliminate all sorts of negative experiences or memories that barge into a person’s consciousness and prevent peak performance. Its programming your brain to think of the negative memory in all its intensity and then radically think of something else. Repeated rigorously, the result is equivalent to a wipe out of the negative trail of emotions.

The NLP Anchoring Technique is a living a memory of resourcefulness and wiring the neurology to that state by some sort of kinesthetic stimulus. Anchoring is a fundamental technique used in NLP using different input channels. You can get anchored to some event in the past where you had high Confidence state. The same technique can be utilized to collapse any negative anchor or memories that trigger low confidence.

The NLP Fast Phobia Technique is truly top-notch. I am surprised more people haven’t tried it. For example, if an individual is afraid of flying and absolutely dreads setting foot on an aircraft, and the memory itself is enough to drive him berserk. Self beliefs strengthen existing fears and phobias. We evaluate experiences and life events through the filter of our beliefs and experience. A Phobia is an irrational fear. The Phobia Cure detaches the dreadful images which twined with extreme emotions in such a way that memory exists but without triggering any emotions.

Content Re-Framing is another powerful tool which enables an individual to perceive a situation in the best possible light. As discussed earlier, preconceived ideas and beliefs play a huge role in assessing a potential situation.

Judging a situation negatively can limit potential growth. Getting the “right frame” is the crucial denominator that plays a huge role in confidence building.

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The Dissociation Technique is practiced by psychologists and healthcare professionals worldwide in order to help an individual recover from a traumatic situation. The individual takes on the role of an impartial observer and processes the emotions. It doesn’t have to happen all at once, or it has the danger of overwhelming an individual so much so that, he would never venture into this territory again. Gradually, one begins to assess the entire gamut of emotions and with the help of a competent healthcare professional is able to replace the negativity and fear with acceptance and growth.

NLP techniques work best when the ground rules are firmly established. Its extremely important to have the right mindset that allows for new models to take root in an individual’s psyche.

Cultivating Confidence is not a single step process. Its deeply rooted in past experiences, beliefs and preconceptions. It’s a transformative process that has lasting value.

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The confidence that is easily shaken doesn’t have any lasting value in the world we live in. The power to drive change is the ultimate objective but getting there isn’t easy. It requires some “soul searching”, so to speak and to possess an intellect that is ready to be challenged.

Lets face it. When we talk about global sustainability models, we are looking for mechanisms that will last. The point that I intend to drive home is that, quite possibly, we restrict confidence in a narrow bracket that can be gained through the reading of some self- help books. That works but its definitely more potent when combined with the Powerful NLP techniques as discussed above.

“Believe in Yourself. Have faith in your abilities. Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers, you cannot be successful and happy.”

And a reasonable confidence is the byproduct of the entire kaleidoscope of events that have shaped you. And Besides, its not average, mediocre confidence we are talking about. “Today I will do what others won’t. So tomorrow I can do what others can’t!” That’s the Confidence Matrix.

Sajid Ahamed is “Certified Trainer of NLP” and Founder of Inner Peace Life Coaching Pvt Ltd, India. He is a firm believer in high performance. He enjoys engaging in powerful conversations that lead to effective learning and results. He is ITA (International Training Academy) approved NLP and New Code Trainer in India and Middle East. Certified in Energy Leadership Index Master Practitioner by one of the largest ICF-accredited coach training schools in the world, “Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching” (iPEC), Coach Sajid empowers his clients to achieve their greatest potential and evolve into their personal best version.

Watch this testimonial on fast phobia cure –

https://youtu.be/p0ueRkEPdSE

If you are interested to find out more of this technique, You can book a free session with him using the below link –

https://my.timetrade.com/book/LNX16

IPLC Team