NLP for Healthy Marital Relations

NLP for Healthy Marital Relations

Program the unconscious mind for healthy relationship

NLP shows us how our thoughts, emotions and actions are connected. It helps us in improving our life by enabling us to manage emotions and be in control of our actions and behavior. Relationships are founded on emotions of trust, love and empathy. The core of marital relationship, in particular is an emotional commitment. Unless we master the art and science of managing emotions, we cannot do well in enjoying the beauty of this relationship to its fullest potential.

NLP for Healthy Marital Relations

Normally couples fight for small and at times silly things. Healthy relationship needs such small bickering, but if they are not judiciously and timely managed, such small and innocent bickering lead to permanent cracks. The main reason of such emotional sores is often how we look at our partner. NLP cannot and doesn’t change your partner, but it can definitely help you in making your partner more attractive and lovable in your eyes. The strength of marital relationship is often reciprocal. So if your partner becomes more endearing in your eyes, your charm will also increase.   

The main power of NLP lies in its ability to reprogram the unconscious mind. Whatever we do and experience consciously, is permanently stored in our unconscious mind and this stored data programs our unconscious mind for specific behavior.  This programming of mind started before our birth and continues throughout our life. This unconscious mind is the source of all our emotions, behavior and habits. The way our unconscious mind is programmed, plays a major role in our relationship. We do not consciously remember many of the incidents and relationship sore, but they do affect our emotions and in turn our behavior. Fortunately, the unconscious mind can be reprogrammed using the powerful NLP tools, and all such sores can be healed permanently.

For a healthy and beautiful relationship, we need to program our unconscious mind. First step is to enable our unconscious mind to see and feel the beautiful side of this relationship. Every human personality has its good and bad parts. The relationship becomes blissful when our mind focuses on the beautiful aspects of the persona of our partner. A simple thing we can start with is to just list out all the good things in our partner that we like or have ever liked. It can be related to physical beauty, or the good aspects of behavior, skills, talents or his/her favors, or anything else. List them out and let your mind visualize, think and take pleasure in all those beautiful aspects. If you work it out daily for a few moments, you will find your emotions changing, love becoming more intense and bond getting stronger.

Unconscious mind can be reprogrammed using metaphors; some incidents of our life work as strong living metaphors. A great sacrifice that our partner had rendered, memories of memorable events and days, the stories of the days when the love was at its peak; all these work as strong metaphors to ignite the positive feelings.  Every healthy relationship does always possess a huge treasure of such powerful memories that if properly triggered can do magic in instantly repairing any damage or revitalizing the passion in case it weakens for any reason. NLP has the technique of creating positive anchors for resourceful states. We can visualize the best moments of our lives spent together and can create positive anchors.

NLP for Healthy Marital Relations

Relationships get weakened with the passing days mainly because we come across the shortcomings of our partner. Every human personality has its own negative aspects. If our unconscious mind starts focusing on those negative aspects, once beautiful partner starts looking ugly. One way of overcoming this is to focus on positive and beautiful aspects of partner’s personality. The other powerful tool that NLP provides is called re-framing. Re-frame the shortcomings of your partner and try to look at the positive intent of it.  One way of looking at your husband’s busy schedules is to consider him a workaholic who is not interested in sparing time with family, but the other way is to look at him as a responsible man who is working so hard for the well being of family and is committed to his work. It is all about the way you approach the reality. If you approach it negatively it will cause damage to your relationship, and if same reality is approached in a positively re-framed manner, it will strengthen your bond.

So, at the dawn of the New Year, fasten your seat belts and take off for a new journey; reprogram your unconscious mind and begin to enjoy a more matured and blissful relationship. Wish you all the best….

by Dr. Nazneen Sadat (MSc. PhD) –
She is a certified NLP Practitioner (American Union of NLP). Her core specialisation include, resolving family dispute, marital counselling, teen age counselling, parenting etc.

Let it go and celebrate!

Let it go and Celebrate!

Let it go and Celebrate!

Someone has rightly said that “Yesterday is already a dream, and tomorrow is only a vision, but today, well-lived, makes every yesterday a dream of happiness, and every tomorrow a vision of hope”.

Let it go

We are all in search of people who love us and validate our overall okay-ness. We want our friends to understand us, we want to feel like we belong, like we fit in. Some of us want to lead, some of us follow, some of us stand somewhere in between. But, we are all always walking towards love, the acquisition of love in all its forms. It is a merry-go-round. Only when we decide to break these manacles, we can achieve true liberation and freedom.

We all are some recombination of our yesterdays. But ever wondered, how your sorrow yesterdays can be affecting your beautiful tomorrows adversely? Yes, you heard it right. We are so often struck in our past experiences that we tend to miss out on our wonderful present and future moments. Past is like a gum, it sticks with you till you consciously decide to let go. It can hamper your relationships with those around you and you need to make efforts to get rid of it.

You need to know why it is so important to let go in life. Everything around you is transient and you need to come to terms with reality that you cannot hold things for long. Be it relationships, success or fame, you cannot expect your life to be like a rainbow every day. Thus, learning the art of letting go becomes indispensable for us as relinquishing unhealthy attachments will give us the power to deal with courageously with tough situations in life. Releasing those negative emotions and influences around you can help you to enjoy precious moments and live life to the fullest.

Embracing what all you have and letting go of what you had should thus be the essence of our lives. When you wish to unlock the key to happiness and love, you need to learn the art of gratitude and forgiveness. Letting go can be broader connotations and it also means not succumbing to meaningless words and wasting your emotions on people and things who don’t love and respect you.

With time, you would realize that not every thing you wish to hold on to is worth your time. Walking away can be really fruitful in such situations. You need to realize that you cannot hold on to things which hamper your mental growth and personality. There is so much you can accomplish in life only if you stop wasting your time thinking about your past and concentrating on your future.

Sometimes the changes we don’t want are the changes we need, to flourish and grow. All you need to remember is that changes need to happen for a reason. They might not be easy but they could make your life worthwhile. Sticking to things which don’t belong to you can be more painful. Hence, true wisdom lies in having faith in what could be and letting go of what was.

Letting go can be a tedious process especially if you were extremely attached to someone but breaking away from the emotional shackles is sometimes necessary. Letting go can become easy if you let go of the fear of losing someone and forgiving them for what they did to you. This way you are letting go of the negative emotions and embracing positivity.

Let it go and celebrate!

Showing gratitude and forgiving the ones who hurt you can thus lead you to the path of true happiness. Also, you shouldn’t keep waiting for the perfect moments to make positive changes in life. It might be difficult to forgive someone who hurted you to the core. But eventually with time, you would learn that by choosing to forgive, you are giving yourself the power to rule your life the way you want. On the other hand, if you keep holding to those who don’t value your presence in their life, you will never be able to move on.

Hence in a nutshell, letting go is important for your own well being, happiness and peace of mind. Someone has rightly said that “When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or conditioned by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free. There is no denying the fact that letting go can turn out to be therapeutic for you if you really wish to live a blissful life. Always remember that only you hold the power to let anyone affect you. You cannot change your past and this is exactly what you need to imbibe to be able to live happily and freely.

Relationship with Self

Relationship with Self

Relationship with Self

Relationship with self is the utmost important aspect of our life. You don’t really need  to depend on others in your life to make you feel happy and special. Studies have shown that no relationships, materialistic things can make you feel content in life. The only thing that you should yearn for is your relationship with yourself.

Relationship with Self

It won’t be wrong to say that your relationship with your own being is central to everything that happens in your life. The way you feel internally would also play an instrumental role in shaping your relationships with those around you. Trust me, you wont be able to fake a smile for long if you are internally in a state of turmoil, anxiety or depression. Thus your inner state of being would reflect how well things go out in your life.

At the end, we all crave to love and be loved in return. Doesn’t that give us a feeling of fulfillment? Acceptance of others make us feel worthy and lovable. Isn’t it? Not experiencing that emotional connection can actually lead to solitude and dejectedness in life. Thus, relationship with self should always remain the focal point. No matter what might happen around you, learning to connect with yourself is the baby step towards achieving true bliss and happiness in life. Depending on yourself is the best thing that you can do to yourself. People around you can change and they might disappoint you. Therefore, relying on others for your emotional stability is definitely not a desirable thing.

When you would abandon your own self, you would create a vacuum wherein you would start repelling those around you. Your lack of fulfillment inside would push people away and you might end feeling even more lonely and unloved. On the other hand, when you take responsibility for your own self, you open doors to embracing your weaknesses and negativities. Thus, this sense of deep inner fulfillment is what you should strive for.

One thing which we should remember is that we cannot fill others life with love and happiness if we are void inside. Believe me, you cannot connect with others till you are connected with your own inner being. Also, social isolation and loneliness are results of inner loneliness and connection with self. Also, your inner self is your sole partner in times of stress, anxiety and depression. Therefore, developing a relationship with your inner self should be your ultimate goal.

Relationship with Self

According to a renowned novel namely Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell, people living in connected communities are healthier than those who live in isolated places. Hence, connection with self is important as it impacts your relationship with others. When we lose connect with our self and fail to feel the compassion, then we lose the ability to feel compassion for others. Someone has rightly said that when you make yourself a priority, you don’t fear people around you. At the end, what really matters is how much you love yourself. No one can make you feel unwanted until you want to feel that way.

HOW CAN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH SELF HELP YOU?

  • Improved relationships with people you really value and love.
  • Increased self esteem and positive attitude towards life.
  • Becoming aware of your weaknesses and acceptance for them.
  • Rejuvenation and enthusiasm to face everything with a positive spirit.
  • Emotional stability and balance in relationships and life.
  • Appreciating and embracing what you have in life.
  • Making the lives of others more worthwhile and wholesome.

When you will be connected with your own self, you will be filled with feelings of gratitude and forgiveness. This would help you to de clutter your life and you will be able to embrace negativities and deal with them courageously.

Try this simple exercise if you are wanting to begin your journey towards self introspection.

Close your eyes and repeat: “I am a miracle.”
Smile.
Say it again.
Smile even wider.
Say it again.
Open your eyes.

These four magical words “I am a miracle” are all you need to be able to keep you going throughout the day despite emotional roller coasters which you might face.

Ever wondered, what is the greatest hurdle you face in loving yourself? It is nothing else but acceptance of others. We depend so much on what others think about ourselves and tend to forget that we all are different and unique in our own ways. This becomes the major obstacle in our path to enlightenment and love for ourselves.

Hence, in a nutshell, there is no stopping your way if you choose the path of loving yourself infinitely. Govern your life the way you want to and create your own joys, love, and happiness without depending on others around you.  In order to feel alive and vibrant every single day, you simply need to remind yourself that everything around you is transitory and ephemeral. You would start putting yourself on a higher pedestal the day you would realize that nothing is more important than your feelings and emotions.

Inner Strength

Inner Strength

Inner Strength

“It doesn’t matter what we do until we accept ourselves. Once we accept ourselves, it doesn’t matter what we do.”

Many of us yearn for acceptance of those around us. Don’t we? Well, we all face those ultimate challenges in life where we desire to be loved and appreciated by one and all. We get affected to such an extent that we often forget that each of us is unique and special in his/her own ways. Does that happen with you too? At the end, the real beauty lies in embracing your own flaws and imperfections. Thus, we should live the life the way we want to and always craving for others acceptance isn’t desirable.

Inner Strength

The real trouble begins when we start relying on what people think of us. When we let people allow the central stage in our lives, we invite expectations, anxieties and even depression sometimes. When we allow others to control our lives, we unconsciously start getting influenced by their opinions and decisions. We then start to imitate their ways and fitting into their lifestyles become our sole aim. Hence, the vicious cycle begins and we start losing out on what we believe in.

An important question which you need to answer for yourself is that what are the unique qualities which make you shine from within? We are often skeptical about the decisions which we make in life and keep following the crowds around us. To err is human and thus we need to stop worrying about what others would think if we fail. Life is all about taking risks and we shouldn’t depend on others opinions for each and every decision we take in life. Beauty is about being comfortable in your own skin. It’s about knowing and accepting who you are. Hence, always do what you believe in as life is too short to live with regrets.

Living life according to your set of rules is the best thing you can do to yourself. You would never be compromising on what you always wanted to do and thus trusting yourself is the best practise.

You couldn’t relive your life, skipping the awful parts, without losing what made it worthwhile. We cannot always let others govern our lives and thus we shouldn’t always live with self doubts. When you start taking responsibility for every action without thinking of what others might think about your life choices, you achieve that state of pure bliss and happiness. Believe me, at the end what really matters is how comfortable and honest you are with your own self.

Depending on others can be destructive if you are low on self confidence and esteem. Life would be a beautiful journey if we start concentrating on what we want in life and not what others want us to do in life. Have you ever lived a single day where you didn’t pay heed to what others around you said? Well, I am sure you haven’t.

Self acceptance is ultimate key to success and true happiness. You cannot always be afraid of trying something new just because you are afraid of failures. We all strive to be perfectionists in everything we do but we need to understand that hardships and failures are part of our lives. Like a rainbow, life cannot just be filled with beautiful colors and therefore inner strength can play an integral role in helping you cope with difficult times in life. Inner strength of the soul is all you need to grow leaps and bounds in your life.

Someone has rightly said that beauty is not in the face but beauty is a light in the heart. Thus, inner strength and courage can shape your personality in many positive ways. You just need to consciously make an effort to stop trying to achieve perfect results for everything you desire to do. You live just once, thus live to the fullest. Simply understand the fact that you cannot impress everyone around you and you would be judged at every point in life. The elevator to happiness is therefore more about possessing the courage to take responsibility for the wrongful choices you make and not cribbing about the lost chances in life.

This Month I have dedicate the social media for enhance the Inner Strength. Please follow us on FB, Twitter and Instagram to connect to daily quotes, Sunday Affirmation, Journalling Prompt and many more activities.

Inner Strength

STEPS TO FOLLOW IN ORDER TO FREE YOURSELF FROM NEGATIVITY

  • Focus on what really matters.
  • You are the best judge of your life.
  • Focus on doing what you think is best.
  • Don’t let destructive criticism overpower you.
  • Stay away from negative people.
  • Stay optimistic.
  • Encourage yourself to do what you believe in.

Hence in a nutshell, life is too short to live according to others expectations and opinions. Once you will learn to let go of toxic people and unnecessary opinions, you would realize that life is more than just mere shades of black and white. All you need to learn is stop getting affected to what others think of you. At the end what really matters is how much you love yourself. Embracing your own self is the only thing you need to focus on.